Always Smiling
by Zurui Karasu
Summary: A sad poem-ish thing about a tragedy befalling one of our unlikely heroes, and someone left behind. (Break out da tissues!)


Well here we go, a sad depressing (And badly written) Slayers poem!^^;; Dun worry, I don't normally write tragic death things, so this'll prolly be me last!Anyways, enjoy, and be nice!^_^;; 

Always Smiling

Always smiling always cheerful

Why was I always so furious to see it?

What was it about you that sparked such hatred?

Why did I act so much like one of you?

Why could you make me cry?

I never thought one day it would all end

Leaving one question on my quivering lips

I asked the gods why

And I'm still waiting for an answer

_ _

_Why…?_

I would scream to the raging skies

And the only one who answered was the wind

This bloody day, I can still see the change

I see a hero, not filth

And I asked yet again, why?

Why had I not seen it before?

Why had you not shown me this part of yourself?

Why had we both been foolish?

Damn that contemptible smirk!

I grew to loathe it

Loathe you…

Why oh why were we both so blind?

I won't let myself cry

I won't!

But everything can stop now!

All my pain, the suffering, denial maybe

It can end and my life can be lived to the fullest!

_ _

_But why won't it?_

You're gone, and there's nothing left to do

But mourn and move on

But as much as I will it to

None of this pain

This anger

All my unanswered questions

They won't leave me alone

Just like you…

I know I killed you

Though this dark day I hold you in my arms

I kneel in your blood

I beg you to stay

And yet…

You left me

You left everyone…

You disappoint us again, just like always

_ _

_Damn it all!_

Damn the cruel beast that took you

Damn you for saving all of us

You never cared before…

I didn't care until it was too late

Why the hell should you have cared then?

# I can still see it…

The golden arrow of light that pierced your flesh

I can still see your body falling to earth

Falling from grace

Falling from the place you could only dream about

The crimson spray a streak against the gray sky

Your scream of pain

# And then silence…

I scream your name

I reach out to you

And you open your eyes one last time for me

# 

# I was careless…

Always smiling and always meticulous

All your plans were always perfect!

It must have been your intention to die

You loved to torment me so

What better way to do it than make me suffer like this?

You couldn't have possibly gone awry…

You were infallible!

Nothing and no one could touch you!

Makes me wonder why you did it…

You got your final revenge

Is that really what you wanted?

To leave the world and leave others in pain?

# No…

You can't draw your pleasures from that anymore

So why were you smiling at the end?

Sometimes I think it wasn't you

It couldn't have been…

Not the arrogant callous person I'd grown so accustomed to maiming

Not him!

He would never sacrifice his own life!

Not his kind!

I couldn't have been wrong about him!

But then, I return to that place

Forever stained with memories of blood

And I know…

I was wrong and your smile is gone…

# 

# Forever…

Even as I hold you

Dying

Your eyes

Once full of mischief

In their last moments somber

Serious

# But I didn't know…

Just grin at me please

Call me names!

Insult me!

Make me cry!

I cry tears of sorrow for you

And I don't even know why…

I can't stand looking at you like this!

Oh gods make it stop!

# This isn't happening…

You tell me something I never wanted to hear

Now I wish I could hear just once more

But all I ever hear is the wind

I refuse to believe this is true!

My white robes are scarlet

Red like an evil miasma

But you should not be bleeding!

This red fluid of life that looks so malevolent on the cold ground

It should not be on my hands…

Taking someone from me I never knew I had

I hold you closer to hear your dying words

And run my hands through your hair

# I never took the time to realize how beautiful you are…

You tell me you'll always be watching

Ever always annoying

I tell you not to leave

And you merely laugh

But the crimson streaks down your pale cheek

And you know your time grows short…

I never knew what you were like

All I saw was the monster

All I saw was slaughter at your hand

Why was I blind to beauty?

You simply smile once more

And close your eyes

I feel your life leaving your battered body slowly

The others with magic try to help

But we both know it is futile

You ask if I would mind seeing you again

And I can only feel the unwanted searing of tears

And everyone wonders why I'm crying so hard…

I tell you there will never be a need for again

You reply with infinity

A love that not even death can deter

I ask the gods if this could be true

You respond with a rhyme

Sore wa himitsu desu

And with a final breath

Your life force is gone

# And so is my love…

And yet

Looking upon your still features

Frozen in death

From wherever it is you are waiting for me

You will always be irritating

Always beautiful

And I will remember you

Always smiling

My namagomi…


End file.
